A Fishing and Hunting Trip with President Obama

At a recent political action committee meeting at the White House, gun control was discussed. It seems President Obama decided that, for some reason, sportsmen did not trust him and did not believe his gun control agenda was common sense as he called it. So he decided to do something to show sportsmen he was really one of them.

Since the picture of him skeet shooting didn’t go over too well, he wanted to go with someone that knew at least something about hunting and fishing, so he came to Georgia for a combination bass fishing and turkey hunting expedition. For some strange reason I was chosen to take him on these trips.

We decided to go fishing first. The president arrived with his Secret Service armed guards and followed me to Jackson Lake, where a PT boat was waiting to guard the president while we fished. The two of us got into my bass boat, along with five armed guards and two photographers, after I convinced him we could not fish from the PT boat.

When I handed him one of my St. Croix rods and Ambassadeur reels he asked “Which end of this do I put the bullets in?” I finally convinced him we were fishing, not hunting, and didn’t need bullets.

We started fishing a point. The president handed the rod and reel to a Secret Service agent to cast for him since he had never gone fishing before. When a fish was hooked the agent handed the rod to him so the press boat following us could get pictures of him catching a fish.

After landing the 10 inch largemouth bass the president said he wanted to have his trophy mounted. I told him it was a small bass, not big enough to keep legally, but he said he was the president and state laws did not apply to him.

That was enough fishing since he had his pictures so we left to go turkey hunting. I said it was too late in the day but he said it didn’t matter, things had been set up and he had a very busy schedule. So we went to my farm to “hunt.”

When I started to get my shotgun, five Glock pistols were pointed at me. I never touched the gun after being told no one was allowed to have a gun around the president. He opened the back hatch of one of the big black Suburbans – there were 15 of them with us, all full of armed Secret Service guards, following his limo, and pulled out a bolt action 7mm rifle. I tried to explain turkey hunting was done with a shotgun, usually a pump, but he said that would look bad since they looked too much like an assault weapon.

Although I knew we would not see any turkey this time of day, we went to a blind anyway. I had to keep pushing the barrel of the gun he carried away because it kept pointing at me or one of the ten agents with us. I tried to explain a gun should never be pointed at anyone but he said it was no problem since the gun was loaded with blanks. I tried to explain all guns should always be treated as loaded guns but he said he knew better.

As soon as I started calling for turkey the president stood up and shouted “pull.” A Secret Service agent threw a big white domestic turkey into the air and the president blasted away. It was a good thing the rifle really was loaded with blanks or he would have hit the agent.

The agent pulled out his 40 caliber semiautomatic Glock, with a 17 round clip, and shot the poor confused turkey. I told the president the kinds of guns and clips his guards carried were the kinds of things he wanted to ban, but he said those laws were just for common people like me, not for powerful people like him and their guards.

As the president posed for pictures, I again tried to tell him sportsmen would know it was not a wild turkey. He said it didn’t matter, no one would really know the difference, and they would photoshop it anyway.

As we headed back to town all of a sudden the convoy stopped. A young hen turkey was feeding in the edge of a field right by the road. Secret Service agents jumped out of his vehicle and shot it with their Glocks. I tried to stop them, pointing out it was illegal to shoot from a public road and the turkey was a hen, but was again told the president and his guards didn’t have to obey any laws.

The two turkeys were placed in the back of one of the big gas guzzling SUVs and the president said he was taking them back with him for his chef to clean and cook. I said they were pretty shot up, but was told the chef was paid well over $100,000 a year with a staff of dozens each paid almost as much, and they had better be able to make it taste good.

As Air Force One took off, leaving a trail of exhaust fumes, I could not help thinking this trip would not really work out as the president planned!